A quick recap of sorts

I don't even which event I should mention first as each one is SO crucially important as to explain why I haven't blogged in YEARS!!! So maybe best to let the story unravel as it happened...... Being so very in love with Mr B... led to this.... OH BABY.....

Which made this happen a lot faster than we planned.....

On 25 March 2013 our lives were blessed beyond our dreams....

This precious little girl who we named Aeryn is 7 Months old today!!!

Of course McKenna loves being a big sister

And although I complain ALL THE TIME about the lack of sleep, I love having this gorgeous baby in the house

Can you see why I haven't had the time to BLOG???? All these wonderful things have been happening. Not only were we blessed with our own little bundle of sunshine, I got a nephew too 5 weeks before Aeryn was born.

These two are practically twins, except they go home at the end of the day to their own nurseries

Then in more exciting news, I'm becoming an AUNTY again next year April, with my gorgeous sister expecting her first baba

Not too worry with all the baby overload we have not forgotten our almost 10 year old who thinks she is turning 14....

Can't believe that the last time I blogged I said she was 7 and a half years old! There are lots of stories I would like to share with you all... But I'm going to save them for another time. I need to first get my blog on...... Sweet dreams. Lots of Love Mrs Chuter (goodness never thought I would be a Mrs again LOL)

To blog or .......

Or not to blog..... That is the question...... Watch this space.....

Its still here....

So it's confirmed they don't delete inactive blogs..... **BLUSH** Will gorgeous photos of my beautiful 7 and a half year old make up for the absence????





You know it would be nearly impossible to play "catch up" with you all.

I'm still very much in love with Mr. B



Can't believe we have been together for over 2 years already.

Life is almost perfect......... damn close....... :)

Blessed

I am truly blessed.....

Blessed to have a beautiful growing healthy smart daughter

Blessed to have the most amazing family who put up with me each day

Blessed to have the awesome bond that I do have with my closet dearest friends. (which one dear friend just so happens to be my sister).

Blessed to have this incredible man in my life. Who just loves me and takes care of me.

Today has been a day of where I just want to tell the world how much I'm in love with Mr. B. I want to create huge billboards, shout from the top of buildings, broadcast it all over Face Book (: I couldn't even say where it would end. I just want to bubble over and gush and ooohhhh and aaahhhh.....

I always knew I deserved to have this kind of relationship, but I never thought it could be like this ~ so free and lovely.



Seriously, how did I get so blessed???????

Hello (echo) Hello anyone there......

How do you even begin to update a blog that has been like a ghost town for the last few months? I didn’t want to do “bullet point updates” so I think I’ll just break is down as follows:

McKenna

My darling little lady started Grade one yesterday. BIG SCHOOL. UNIFORM. My precious baby grew up over night. She is super excited about Grade one, all she wants to do is learn how to read. I wish I could capture her “I want to read” face on camera. She glows when she talks about it.

Her therapy sessions are also done. I’m so happy that I decided to send her to play therapy. I was very skeptical about all this therapy nonsense but in the end it proved to be the best decision. The difference it has made in her little life is amazing. Even her “stress eczema” has cleared up almost 98%. She is also more open with both Brad and I. McK is overall a very happy and loved child.

I also got a few parenting tips out of the therapy, and am working hard each day to improve myself as a mother. Luckily I have Brad helping me along the way too when I get to demanding on my 6 year old. He keeps me in check. ;-)

Brad

Like I said to him this morning, if I was a cartoon character I would have glittering hearts floating above my head at all times. They would even glow extra bright if I was thinking about him.

He has taught me to trust and love unconditionally. No words can describe how happy he makes me. I feel like the most sexiest woman when he is around. He loves me - every inch of me.

I always used to see and read about couples who are just so in love and happy. I never believed it was possible, that no one could feel like that about another person. It must have been an act, Oscar nominated performances. But here I sit, totally gaga about this amazing person who has changed my life in so many ways.

Work

I just barely survived November and December with the help of Bio-plus, Red bulls and patience that I dug up from who knows where. I’m still not used to the actual getting up early to blow wave hair and actually get proper cloths on. I still miss the working in pajama days.

I also miss a great deal of being part of McK’s day. I miss picking her up early. I now pick her up at 5pm, I always feel bad that she has to sit at school all day but I know she is having a ball playing with her friends.

Brad and Me

The popular question on everyone’s mind…. What is happening next? Much to my sister’s disgust we told her that we would most likely meet all our friends/family at the local pub and announce that we got married earlier that day. Hahaha. But ja, we are enjoying the way things are now and it works. Definitely no wedding bells in the near future.

Me

I want to win the Lotto.

I’m finally at peace with my past and it feels good. I’ve let go of all the bad memories and mistrust and hurt. I know I will never be hurt like that again. It just isn’t possible.

Life is good right now. Of course there are certain areas that could do with a bit of tweaking but overall its smooth sailing and smiley faces.

So that is basically it. See you in another few weeks…..

MIA

There is only one excuse........



I'm still deliriously happy and in love and just not finding the time to blog.

Just some MB News....

If you order our 10 Pack HPTs or 10 Pack OPKs, you will receive 2 pregnancy tests FREE.

This special is valid until the end of September, to take advantage please visit Making Babies to ORDER.

Our new support forum is growing by the day, but we need you to register and join in. WE NEED YOU! Check it out.

Panda eyes

It wasn’t my usual Wednesday afternoon routine. Wednesday afternoon’s are spent counting the minutes away until I head over to Mr. B’s place for some “adult entertainment”. No Mck’s, no being a mommy, just a girlfriend going to visit her boyfriend. Not yesterday, nope this Wednesday played out very different…..

I watched my friend go first, cool as a cucumber. She knew I was watching every twitch and facial expression. I watched my mom being led to another room to be prepped. My heart started to race. Next thing I knew I had replaced my mom lying on the bed in the other room. I could hear giggles and muffled chatting coming from down the passage.

I lay there, eyes taped shut. Burning. I lay there thinking about my gorgeous Mr. B and what he was doing. I relived my wonderful weekend in my head over and over again. I gave thought to what the hell was I doing right now. I contemplated chickening out. But what would they say. Nita had gone, mom was almost done. How exactly did I end up going last? I had to go ahead…..

A soft voice came to get me, leading me down the hall way. Blind. I held onto the soft hands that were guiding me. Mom sniggering, “you see - now you know how I felt” came from somewhere behind me. I lay down. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. I kept telling myself that I had just watched my friend have this done, she didn’t even flinch. (Later she told me that she had to hold her pose as to not scare me off.) Mom sniggers again, “good luck”……..

The soft voice tilts my head to the side, and says “keep the eyes relaxed and closed. I will pull them the way I want them”. RELAXED??? Darling you are about to put a blade that contains needles into my eye, (ok, well close enough to my eye, 1mm to be exact). The blade slices through my lids, upper and then lower. Breathe, breathe, breathe. “You still ok?”…. “yeah I’m totally fine you mother f*****g b*tch of a ***”. No really, “I’m cool” I say instead. “Just fine.”

We walked out there all puffy eyed and tired. Downed 4 double whiskey’s after our harrowing experience. Need to go back in 6 weeks for the touch up. But at least I’m going to have pretty black lined eyes for the next say 6 years or so. No more tedious minutes spent applying eye liner and having it burn the sh*t out of me. No more smudges. Just gorgeous lines, perfectly done.

Worms

McK has this irritating rude girl in her class, lets just call her G.... I'm forever hearing horrid stories about what G does. You know your typical school bully.

Just a snippet of our conversation on the drive home from school today:

Me: So McKs what did G get up to today?

McK: *insert look of disgust* She was really rude today

Me: What did she do now?

McK: She keeps putting her hand in her bum

Me: *trying not to giggle* Ummm, maybe she has worms

McK: I hope so *grinning*

Me: Me too......

LOL

Where do I even start with an update? I suppose I could just type and see where it goes.

I really do miss blogging and reading my favourite blogs too. But my days and weeks are just so jam packed I hardly find time to get in front of the PC.

Mondays – we try to recover from the weekend. Work is incredibly busy on a Monday. Exhausting. So by the time I have picked McK up from school at 5pm, I just want to eat dinner and bath.

Tuesdays – Well I don’t really have an excuse for a Tuesday. It’s really the only day that I have nothing on after work. So technically I could catch up with the blogs on a Tuesday.

Wednesdays – GRIN. I get to spend with Mr. B. So definitely no time for the PC.

Thursdays – Girly drinks with my friend Nita. Our kids even know that Thursdays are “kuier” days. McK will run to the car singing about her brothers. Nita’s boys are McK’s “brothers”. Too cute.

Fridays – Back in the arms of Mr. B again. Need I say more?

Saturday and Sunday – McK and I are at Mr. B until late Sunday afternoon. We are either entertaining friends or being lazy and watching movies.

In between being exhausted and working and visiting, I still have to make time for Making Babies and my dear friends the Geysers. It’s hard not seeing them so regularly any more. Our lives just seem so busy lately. Need to change that.

Then next thing I know Monday is back staring me in the face, another week seen its @ss. I wake up and realize its September.

Sometimes I don’t think I really have anything to update. I mean its still “same old same old”. Happy and in love. Enjoying each day. I’m leading a pretty boring life right now. If you can call it boring? I guess I will take this happy boringness over what my life used to be any day. Hahaha.

McK is doing well. She is still having some separation issues. Today marks her third session with the therapist. S phoned me this morning to let me know they start dealing and talking about “issues” today. So I might notice McK acting out or misbehaving. Says I just need to take it as it comes while she learns how to deal with her emotions. I’m really nervous.

Mr. B has started taking a more active role as “parent” too. It makes a big difference. I know it’s difficult for him to jump into the father role. But he handles it all so well. I think his and McK’s relationship can only benefit from it.

I wake up every morning thinking how very lucky I am. I get to hold my daughter. I get kisses and hugs and “mommy I love you’s”. I get to watch her grow each day. I watch her smile and giggle. I watch them play hide and seek together. I hear her laugh hysterically while Mr. B tickles her and she squeals “mommy come help me, Mr. Tickler has me”. I listen to her singing, making up words as she goes and sit amazed by her dancing and bouncing all over the place. I watch the tears fill up her gorgeous blue eyes and run down her cheek. The lip quiver. The temper tantrum accompanied by feet stomping. The sheepish grovel that comes after she has been punished. I get to see this all every day.

I get spun around the room to a corny country western song and get told how gorgeous I am. I get woken up with soft kisses, a smile with a gaze that I know only means “I love you.”

Life is bliss, life is happy, life is honest, life is love….

Who has time for blogging?

August Decisions

Hey bloggers/readers.

Grin..... Yeah I'm giving a half @ss attempt at blogging today.

August has been a whirlwind of fun and drama.

I made the decision to send McK to a child play therapist. I had the first session with the therapist last Friday. It was really hectic. I cried most of the hour while she asked about McK and her Father, and all the issues that come with it. But I'm very glad I did it. She will start seeing McK this week.

Why is McK going you may ask???? Well since her father just packed up his things and fled to the coast a few weeks back, after not even making any attempt to say good bye to her..... I had to be the bearer of bad news and explain to McK that she isn't going to see her daddy any time soon. She took the news rather badly.....

Since then she has been very clingy and emotional. I think this last year has finally hit hard on her and she is dealing with some issues that I have no idea on how to handle. I'm so p*ssed off with C, that I'm not taking her feelings into consideration when trying to explain the situation to her.

I know this is the best thing for McK. When I told her on Friday night that she is going to go see a special lady that is going to help her not be so sad anymore, the poor child burst into tears. But it was tears of relief. I can't explain it to you. I explained to her that she can talk to this lady about anything that is making her angry or sad. And that we are going to try and help her heart feel better. She is very excited.

I can't wait to have my giggly dancing girlie back again.

On the B side of life. Still wonderful. Yeah I don't know when the "honeymoon" period is supposed to end, but I'm still enjoying it. All is good. All is love. All is happiness.

Long time no star sign...

Usually these days I don't have time for star signs but this one caught my eye this morning on the way to work:

Life is good. Really good. And while you'd like to say it's been all your own doing, you know better. Now march yourself over to the person responsible for that sappy grin and think of a creative way to say thank you. You'll think of something ....

Hmmmm creative way, GRIN, oh I could think of many but I couldn't possibly type them out here since my father might just read my blog today.

*BLUSHES*

I don't believe it? Seriously. Who would have thought I would be the one to go MIA in the blogsphere. I just figured maybe you were all getting bored with stories of happiness and love and me gushing over Mr. B all the time. You know that same old same old kind of stuff.

I could tell you all about the drama that I have had to endure the last 2 weeks, but is it really reading material that I want to share. Hmmmm, maybe not. I haven't even told McK yet, so maybe it isn't fair that I share it with the internet. I'm only planning on telling her next week when things have calmed down and final. Lets just say that a certain piece of rubbish is finally out of our lives.

I think I've settled into the working schedule. Still hating the getting up early bit though. Don't think I will ever get used to it to be honest. I have (and will) always love my sleep. It's the one thing, (ok not the one thing, he finds me over all very amazing) that amazed B, the amount of time I can spend sleeping. Bliss.

Yeah I'm still sickeningly in love with B. (and I'm starting to think he is more sickeningly in love with me) LOL. I still don't know how I got so lucky.

B is taking McK shopping on Sunday. I don't quite think he knows what he is letting himself in for. But I have warned her to be on her best behaviour. Yes, this gorgeous face can get demonic at the best of times.



Oh wait, do you hear that? It's a soft whisper, a seductive whisper.... a maybe it's better lying in a warm bubble bath than sitting in front of the PC whisper... Best I heed it's call.

I promise not to leave you for so long again.

xox

When we are older....

He promises that he will let me sleep in, while he takes my teeth to the bathroom to be brushed..... sweet hey....

Love that man

xox

I some times just sit and wonder.

How did I get to this place where I am now. When did I get direction?

When did I grow a pair of balls and take on the world. (Well not the whole world, but a good part of it).

It’s been 10 months since I made my life altering decision.

I will never forget the day after, how I cried non stop. How I almost chickened out. How no one thought I was strong enough to follow through.

Where would I have been today if I did chicken out?

It’s been almost 8 months since B has stepped into my life. A shining knight on his white horse, he came to rescue me from myself. Made me stronger, made me smile, and made me feel love and trust and all those wonderful things that come from having a relationship.

A real relationship.

One with a future.

One with trust.

When did it become ok to lie for hours on end next to someone and not say a word but yet feel so in touch and feel as if you had actually been talking non stop for those hours. Content.

I have a lot of when’s and how’s and what if’s.

Yet I’m still trying to live without thinking about them, and just be content….. and in love….

I know I know

I promised, I failed.....

My most humble apologies.....

Will try again by Wednesday.

I can leave you though with the fact that I'm totally and utterly in love with a certain person and can not believe how lucky and blessed I am to have him in my life.

xox

Reduced to.....

Yes, my internet usage is pretty much reduced to Face Book status updates lately. I'm so sorry for leaving things hanging.

I'm still busy as ever. Juggling between working, mommy and girlfriend duties. It's hard and tiring, and worst of all I'm woman down with serious flu!!!

I'm going to promise a full update by the weekend......... (promise)

And while I'm composing my big update, don't you want to go VOTE FOR MCKENNA please :)

TO MY CHILD

I received this email a while back, but still wanted to share the poem with you......

TO MY CHILD

Just for this morning, I am going to
smile when I see your face and laugh
when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning, I will let you
choose what you want to wear,
and smile and say how perfect it is.

Just for this morning, I am going to step
over the laundry and pick you up and take you to
the park to play.

Just for this morning, I will leave the
dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put
that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug
the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with
you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon, I will not yell
once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and
whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one
if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon, I won't worry
about what you are going to be when you grow up, or
second guess every decision I have made where you are
concerned.

Just for this afternoon, I will let you
help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you
trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon, I will take us
to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can
have both toys

Just for this evening, I will hold you in
my arms and tell you a story about how you were
born and how much I love you.

Just for this evening, I will let you
splash in the tub and not get angry.
Just for this evening, I will let you
stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening, I will snuggle
beside you for hours, and miss my favourite TV shows.

Just for this evening when I run my
finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be
grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

I will think about the mothers and
fathers who are searching for their missing children, the
mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's
graves instead of their bedrooms. The mothers
and fathers who are in hospital rooms
watching their children suffer senselessly and screaming
inside that little body

And when I kiss you goodnight I will hold
you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then,
that I will thank God for you, and ask him for
nothing, except one more day..............

You lus for an update.....

Well here I am.....

Haha, I don't even know where to start.

McKenna.

She is still the most precious girlie you will ever come across. She is loving school. We are also easing into the home work situation. Last week we had to draw pictures of rain. Luckily I checked her diary the evening and not the usual running out the door in the morning. But I'm pretty sure we would have got the drawing done within 6km drive.

She misses her dad terribly. He has eventually made the effort to see her this coming Sunday. He is taking her to the zoo. She is pretty excited. I swear if he cancels on her, I will personally remove his balls.

She is looking forward to Play Day (my pay day). I told her it's only on Monday, (but going to surprise her tomorrow with a brand new toy). I promised her an outing to Spur. Although that might have to wait till Monday in any case.

She is also counting down the days until my brothers wedding (only in November) She is a flower girl, and can't wait to have a fancy dress. I'm super excited for her part. I bet she will be the most gorgeous flower girl EVER!!!

Work.

Wow. I seriously didn't think it would be such a huge adjustment. But I'm pretty much over the worst of it. The first two weeks were killer, I would get home, eat, bath and sleep. (If I wasn't visiting my awesome boyfriend). McK also needed to get used to being picked up at 5pm from school, as opposed to the normal 3pm. I felt bad for her, she is used to playing around in the afternoon first before, eat bath sleep.

I'm enjoying interacting with clients. (well most clients). Love my colleagues. Love my boss. Don't really have a choice since he is a very good friend of mine. Haha. Don't so much like the idea of having to ask permission for dentist/gynie appointments. Used to doing as I please, coming and going as I please. But it's part of the package, and I will have to get used to that.

Dentists.

Goodness, I have been twice again since my last blog update. Have the last appt coming up 22 June. I no more scared of dentists. Only problem I have is that they need to inject me 3 - 4 times before it takes effect. Then two hours later, pretty much half my face is dead including my tongue and I can't talk haha. Much to the amusement of my awesome boyfriend.

Awesome Boyfriend.

Yeah if you haven't noticed by now. He is still pretty much awesome. We went last weekend to his parents again in Witbank. As always had a great time. It's always good to "go home". McK loves it because she can do as she pleases..... mommy not so much approves of that. But I guess I can let it slide every now and then.

I'm so in love. So happy. So relaxed. I always knew this is what it was supposed to feel like. I knew I deserved this. It was just a matter of time and finding the right person. Someone who matched me perfectly. My lid. I don't care that I had to go through all that other cr@p to get here. It was worth it.

The next two weeks or so.

We (awesome boyfriend, awesome cousin, awesome sister and awesome friends) are going away to Waterval Boven. Looking forward to getting away from everything for the weekend. (4-6 June). Going to miss my precious McK big time, but it will be good to get away. Fun times ahead.

Hmmmm, I can't really think of anything else. Life is good. I'm happy. We are having fun. That is all that counts.

I miss Making Babies A LOT!! But my wonderful father is taking care of orders and such where he can. I promise to get back online with the support group pretty soon. I feel terrible being so lost and out of touch with everyone. But that doesn't mean I don't think of you all, (that includes my Mommy, 2ww.com and SOP girls!!!!!)

And of course my dearest Nicki. Girl I miss our daily chats. BIG TIME! Like I said to you, it feels like my left arm is missing.

Anyway, I best be going. I hope to be back blogging soon again.

Much love

xox

What, not even any comments

Goodness, I don't even get comments any more LOL... Yeah I know I'm sucking at blogging, but haha you could nag me to come blog and make me feel really guilty about going all AWOL.....