When we are older....

He promises that he will let me sleep in, while he takes my teeth to the bathroom to be brushed..... sweet hey....

Love that man

xox

I some times just sit and wonder.

How did I get to this place where I am now. When did I get direction?

When did I grow a pair of balls and take on the world. (Well not the whole world, but a good part of it).

It’s been 10 months since I made my life altering decision.

I will never forget the day after, how I cried non stop. How I almost chickened out. How no one thought I was strong enough to follow through.

Where would I have been today if I did chicken out?

It’s been almost 8 months since B has stepped into my life. A shining knight on his white horse, he came to rescue me from myself. Made me stronger, made me smile, and made me feel love and trust and all those wonderful things that come from having a relationship.

A real relationship.

One with a future.

One with trust.

When did it become ok to lie for hours on end next to someone and not say a word but yet feel so in touch and feel as if you had actually been talking non stop for those hours. Content.

I have a lot of when’s and how’s and what if’s.

Yet I’m still trying to live without thinking about them, and just be content….. and in love….

I know I know

I promised, I failed.....

My most humble apologies.....

Will try again by Wednesday.

I can leave you though with the fact that I'm totally and utterly in love with a certain person and can not believe how lucky and blessed I am to have him in my life.

xox

Reduced to.....

Yes, my internet usage is pretty much reduced to Face Book status updates lately. I'm so sorry for leaving things hanging.

I'm still busy as ever. Juggling between working, mommy and girlfriend duties. It's hard and tiring, and worst of all I'm woman down with serious flu!!!

I'm going to promise a full update by the weekend......... (promise)

And while I'm composing my big update, don't you want to go VOTE FOR MCKENNA please :)

TO MY CHILD

I received this email a while back, but still wanted to share the poem with you......

TO MY CHILD

Just for this morning, I am going to
smile when I see your face and laugh
when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning, I will let you
choose what you want to wear,
and smile and say how perfect it is.

Just for this morning, I am going to step
over the laundry and pick you up and take you to
the park to play.

Just for this morning, I will leave the
dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put
that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug
the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with
you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon, I will not yell
once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and
whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one
if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon, I won't worry
about what you are going to be when you grow up, or
second guess every decision I have made where you are
concerned.

Just for this afternoon, I will let you
help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you
trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon, I will take us
to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can
have both toys

Just for this evening, I will hold you in
my arms and tell you a story about how you were
born and how much I love you.

Just for this evening, I will let you
splash in the tub and not get angry.
Just for this evening, I will let you
stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening, I will snuggle
beside you for hours, and miss my favourite TV shows.

Just for this evening when I run my
finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be
grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

I will think about the mothers and
fathers who are searching for their missing children, the
mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's
graves instead of their bedrooms. The mothers
and fathers who are in hospital rooms
watching their children suffer senselessly and screaming
inside that little body

And when I kiss you goodnight I will hold
you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then,
that I will thank God for you, and ask him for
nothing, except one more day..............

You lus for an update.....

Well here I am.....

Haha, I don't even know where to start.

McKenna.

She is still the most precious girlie you will ever come across. She is loving school. We are also easing into the home work situation. Last week we had to draw pictures of rain. Luckily I checked her diary the evening and not the usual running out the door in the morning. But I'm pretty sure we would have got the drawing done within 6km drive.

She misses her dad terribly. He has eventually made the effort to see her this coming Sunday. He is taking her to the zoo. She is pretty excited. I swear if he cancels on her, I will personally remove his balls.

She is looking forward to Play Day (my pay day). I told her it's only on Monday, (but going to surprise her tomorrow with a brand new toy). I promised her an outing to Spur. Although that might have to wait till Monday in any case.

She is also counting down the days until my brothers wedding (only in November) She is a flower girl, and can't wait to have a fancy dress. I'm super excited for her part. I bet she will be the most gorgeous flower girl EVER!!!

Work.

Wow. I seriously didn't think it would be such a huge adjustment. But I'm pretty much over the worst of it. The first two weeks were killer, I would get home, eat, bath and sleep. (If I wasn't visiting my awesome boyfriend). McK also needed to get used to being picked up at 5pm from school, as opposed to the normal 3pm. I felt bad for her, she is used to playing around in the afternoon first before, eat bath sleep.

I'm enjoying interacting with clients. (well most clients). Love my colleagues. Love my boss. Don't really have a choice since he is a very good friend of mine. Haha. Don't so much like the idea of having to ask permission for dentist/gynie appointments. Used to doing as I please, coming and going as I please. But it's part of the package, and I will have to get used to that.

Dentists.

Goodness, I have been twice again since my last blog update. Have the last appt coming up 22 June. I no more scared of dentists. Only problem I have is that they need to inject me 3 - 4 times before it takes effect. Then two hours later, pretty much half my face is dead including my tongue and I can't talk haha. Much to the amusement of my awesome boyfriend.

Awesome Boyfriend.

Yeah if you haven't noticed by now. He is still pretty much awesome. We went last weekend to his parents again in Witbank. As always had a great time. It's always good to "go home". McK loves it because she can do as she pleases..... mommy not so much approves of that. But I guess I can let it slide every now and then.

I'm so in love. So happy. So relaxed. I always knew this is what it was supposed to feel like. I knew I deserved this. It was just a matter of time and finding the right person. Someone who matched me perfectly. My lid. I don't care that I had to go through all that other cr@p to get here. It was worth it.

The next two weeks or so.

We (awesome boyfriend, awesome cousin, awesome sister and awesome friends) are going away to Waterval Boven. Looking forward to getting away from everything for the weekend. (4-6 June). Going to miss my precious McK big time, but it will be good to get away. Fun times ahead.

Hmmmm, I can't really think of anything else. Life is good. I'm happy. We are having fun. That is all that counts.

I miss Making Babies A LOT!! But my wonderful father is taking care of orders and such where he can. I promise to get back online with the support group pretty soon. I feel terrible being so lost and out of touch with everyone. But that doesn't mean I don't think of you all, (that includes my Mommy, 2ww.com and SOP girls!!!!!)

And of course my dearest Nicki. Girl I miss our daily chats. BIG TIME! Like I said to you, it feels like my left arm is missing.

Anyway, I best be going. I hope to be back blogging soon again.

Much love

xox

What, not even any comments

Goodness, I don't even get comments any more LOL... Yeah I know I'm sucking at blogging, but haha you could nag me to come blog and make me feel really guilty about going all AWOL.....