TO MY CHILD

I received this email a while back, but still wanted to share the poem with you......

TO MY CHILD

Just for this morning, I am going to
smile when I see your face and laugh
when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning, I will let you
choose what you want to wear,
and smile and say how perfect it is.

Just for this morning, I am going to step
over the laundry and pick you up and take you to
the park to play.

Just for this morning, I will leave the
dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put
that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug
the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with
you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon, I will not yell
once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and
whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one
if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon, I won't worry
about what you are going to be when you grow up, or
second guess every decision I have made where you are
concerned.

Just for this afternoon, I will let you
help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you
trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon, I will take us
to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can
have both toys

Just for this evening, I will hold you in
my arms and tell you a story about how you were
born and how much I love you.

Just for this evening, I will let you
splash in the tub and not get angry.
Just for this evening, I will let you
stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening, I will snuggle
beside you for hours, and miss my favourite TV shows.

Just for this evening when I run my
finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be
grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

I will think about the mothers and
fathers who are searching for their missing children, the
mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's
graves instead of their bedrooms. The mothers
and fathers who are in hospital rooms
watching their children suffer senselessly and screaming
inside that little body

And when I kiss you goodnight I will hold
you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then,
that I will thank God for you, and ask him for
nothing, except one more day..............

You lus for an update.....

Well here I am.....

Haha, I don't even know where to start.

McKenna.

She is still the most precious girlie you will ever come across. She is loving school. We are also easing into the home work situation. Last week we had to draw pictures of rain. Luckily I checked her diary the evening and not the usual running out the door in the morning. But I'm pretty sure we would have got the drawing done within 6km drive.

She misses her dad terribly. He has eventually made the effort to see her this coming Sunday. He is taking her to the zoo. She is pretty excited. I swear if he cancels on her, I will personally remove his balls.

She is looking forward to Play Day (my pay day). I told her it's only on Monday, (but going to surprise her tomorrow with a brand new toy). I promised her an outing to Spur. Although that might have to wait till Monday in any case.

She is also counting down the days until my brothers wedding (only in November) She is a flower girl, and can't wait to have a fancy dress. I'm super excited for her part. I bet she will be the most gorgeous flower girl EVER!!!

Work.

Wow. I seriously didn't think it would be such a huge adjustment. But I'm pretty much over the worst of it. The first two weeks were killer, I would get home, eat, bath and sleep. (If I wasn't visiting my awesome boyfriend). McK also needed to get used to being picked up at 5pm from school, as opposed to the normal 3pm. I felt bad for her, she is used to playing around in the afternoon first before, eat bath sleep.

I'm enjoying interacting with clients. (well most clients). Love my colleagues. Love my boss. Don't really have a choice since he is a very good friend of mine. Haha. Don't so much like the idea of having to ask permission for dentist/gynie appointments. Used to doing as I please, coming and going as I please. But it's part of the package, and I will have to get used to that.

Dentists.

Goodness, I have been twice again since my last blog update. Have the last appt coming up 22 June. I no more scared of dentists. Only problem I have is that they need to inject me 3 - 4 times before it takes effect. Then two hours later, pretty much half my face is dead including my tongue and I can't talk haha. Much to the amusement of my awesome boyfriend.

Awesome Boyfriend.

Yeah if you haven't noticed by now. He is still pretty much awesome. We went last weekend to his parents again in Witbank. As always had a great time. It's always good to "go home". McK loves it because she can do as she pleases..... mommy not so much approves of that. But I guess I can let it slide every now and then.

I'm so in love. So happy. So relaxed. I always knew this is what it was supposed to feel like. I knew I deserved this. It was just a matter of time and finding the right person. Someone who matched me perfectly. My lid. I don't care that I had to go through all that other cr@p to get here. It was worth it.

The next two weeks or so.

We (awesome boyfriend, awesome cousin, awesome sister and awesome friends) are going away to Waterval Boven. Looking forward to getting away from everything for the weekend. (4-6 June). Going to miss my precious McK big time, but it will be good to get away. Fun times ahead.

Hmmmm, I can't really think of anything else. Life is good. I'm happy. We are having fun. That is all that counts.

I miss Making Babies A LOT!! But my wonderful father is taking care of orders and such where he can. I promise to get back online with the support group pretty soon. I feel terrible being so lost and out of touch with everyone. But that doesn't mean I don't think of you all, (that includes my Mommy, 2ww.com and SOP girls!!!!!)

And of course my dearest Nicki. Girl I miss our daily chats. BIG TIME! Like I said to you, it feels like my left arm is missing.

Anyway, I best be going. I hope to be back blogging soon again.

Much love

xox

What, not even any comments

Goodness, I don't even get comments any more LOL... Yeah I know I'm sucking at blogging, but haha you could nag me to come blog and make me feel really guilty about going all AWOL.....

Horoscope Time......

And nothing horror about it......

"You're loved, you're respected and you're absolutely sure it's going to last forever. Couldn't get much better, right? Especially since it's all true."

Have you ever had someone tell you are beautiful and mean it, and made you feel like you really are.

Have you ever had someone make you feel so incredibly awesome that you could just skip around all day humming a tune.

Have you ever wished that time would just stand still for a few extra seconds, just so that you can take it all in.

I have....... and I'm loving it.......

Remember me?

Yeah I know I really suck.... But I've just been so busy adjusting to my new "life". It's been a challenge, lots of fun but very tiring at the same time.

Work is good. It's good to be around people again. I'm enjoying the days now even though they seem to fly by. Before I know it I'm heading off home again to go pick my McK up and then get dinner and bathed and into bed. Getting used to traffic is a bitch though. ;-)

B is awesome. I didn't think I could fall any more in love with that man. But every day I do. I miss him a lot during the day. It's been difficult to get used to it. But I'm surviving. We make up for it when we do see each other.

McK is a darling. She has just blossomed the last 2 weeks. Must be something to do with being 6 years old. She is just so loving and attentive. Her and B are hitting it off big time. Makes my heart swell.

Making Babies. I feel so out of touch with it which is sad. I'm sure once I learn how to balance work and MB and everything inbetween it will go better.

It's been a rough last few days with the passing of H's mom. The funeral was incredibly sad. I hate not being able to make my friend better. It's a heartache I can't take away.

I promise to come blog more often. I just need to figure out this juggling act first.

xox

I'm here I'm here!!

I have not run off and joined the circus, even though maybe work might feel like a circus.

Promise to be back with a full update soon

:)

It's been a hard days work....

I'm exhausted. It's been a very long and hard day. Hard as in trying to remember everything and get things done. Hard as in running up and down between clients and copy machines. Pretty much most of the work came back to me within a few hours. I was smoking hot man! (OK, maybe I'm just blowing smoke up my own @ss, but I think I did pretty well).

Of course the only sucky part of my day was walking into a tornado when I got home. After the attack I just burst into tears. I really don't know what I did wrong. But I got blasted none the less. My heart just broke. It really wasn't fair. Still trying to figure it out.

Luckily for me I have an awesome daughter who gave me a hug and told me not to cry because she loves me and she is there to take care of me. Imagine that, my little 6 year old big girl wants to take care of me. She says when she misses me during the day at school, she just needs to look into her heart and then she feels me. Awwww, cue tears again. She is awesome, isn't she?

Now before I literally fall sleep at the key board let me sign off and go to bed... Oh but....

Another hard part of my day was not chatting to B. That is going to take a lot of getting used to. He bought me rechargeable batteries and a charger today for my camera. I love that man for remembering and thinking of me while walking through Hi-Fi corp...

xox

A sad day......

Heaven welcomed a wonderful new Angel into it's gates today.



My dearest friend H lost her mom today after a very sad and hard fight with cancer.

Ouma L, you will be sadly missed.

My heart just breaks.....

It worked....

What ever you and myself did today, all the praying and thoughts and positive vibes paid off!

I got the job!

I'm not 100% certain how I feel right now. Everything from relieved to excited to incredibly nervous to STRESS!! Rolled up into one big ball, ready to roll.

You know what this means hey? Besides the whole financial freedom aspect. I get to interact with real people again, hehe, 97% of the people/clients I've worked with for the last 2 years have all been in the confines of my lap top screen. I actually need to get dressed in the mornings, apply make up - go to work.

No more rush to McK's school still in my PJs and hair unbrushed. I have to be like a normal person and get up early. Yikes, it's going to be a big adjustment.

Then there is my mommy friends and MB friends. Oh goodness me, how I'm going to miss chatting to you ladies all freaking day long. How am I ever going to survive without emoticons?

Also Making Babies. Fear not. I'm not giving MB up, not a chance. It's my passion. I couldn't even think of being without MB. I guess I'm going to run it after hours. I'm still committed to giving my all to the cause of conception. I'll still be here.

How do I even go the whole day without chatting to my sister or nicki??? This is going to be hard.......

Tomorrow is my last day being my own boss.... maybe I should take the day off?

Please Please Please.......

This is it -- the perfect time to make those changes. No matter what they are, or what department of your life you're hoping to fix, it's all good. There. Now get busy and just do it. You can't hope for any better than this.

Today's star sign, and it rings so true. I need all the positive vibes and prayers and what ever else you gorgeous blog readers can do. I'm applying for a position at an old company I used to work for..... I need to get this... I really do.

Of course I loved this part of the reading too:

It's okay to believe this. They may not be wearing a crown, but they're perfect -- for you at least, and that's what counts, right?

I do see that imaginary crown though, and the white horse..... aaaaaahhhhhhhh and yes he is pretty much perfect for me.

I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE

I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE (Barbra Streisand & Bryan Adams) Some words adapted by yours truly.... LOL

I finally found someone, that knocks me off my feet
I finally found the one, that makes me feel complete
We started over apple sours, we started out as friends
It's funny how from simple shots, the best things begin

This time it's different, dah dah dah dah
It's all because of you, dah dah dah dah
It's better than it's ever been
'Cause we can talk it through
Oohh, my favorite line was "Can I buy you a drink sometime?"
It's all you had to say to take my breath away

(Chorus)
This is it, oh, I finally found someone
Someone to share my fridge
I finally found the one, to be with twice a week,
'Cause whatever I do, it's just got to be you
My life has just begun
I finally found someone, ooh, someone
I finally found someone, oooh

But on a more serious note... I just love this song:



And that is all folks, for today. My brain is mush..... till we meet again....

Argh Fluck it.....

You know when you wake up in a seemingly good mood. Ready to face the day with what ever it's going to throw at you. In those moments of opening your eyes, you decide that today nothing will get you down. Today will be a great day.

It can all come crumbling down within a few seconds..........

Just one person's foul mood and slamming of doors and cursing can kind of fluck your day up.

Thanks a lot.

Now all I want to do is really sit in a corner and sob.

I so needed to be in a good place today.

6 Years....

I have been the luckiest person in the entire world, because for the last 6 years I have been the mother of this gorgeous child.....



My dearest McKenna

No words will ever be enough to explain how much mommy loves you. Every day I'm blessed to have you in my life. Every day I learn more patience and more love.

You have been such a brave girl the last few months. Mommy is so proud of how you have handled change. You have adapted so well. But I knew you would, because that is who you are. You are smart and mature, and you will do anything to make sure mommy is smiling.

So thank you my precious little girl for making life so easy.

I'm sorry it's raining though, but as you said in the car to school this morning: "No matter what the weather does mommy, I'm going to have a great day because I'm 6!"

Happy birthday my darling McK.

The cat is out of the bag......

Keeping secrets, especially exciting over the moon happy secrets are hard.... Our company launch, was not a company launch...

Only this lady thought it was a company launch, the rest of us had been playing along....



We went to this awesome place: Ritrovo



To give a certain special lady a gorgeous ring and a promise....



A huge congratulations to my brother and his bride to be :)



Now the fun begins....