I need to do two things....

The only problem is that the two things are most likely impossible to achieve .....

1) To get rid of someone. I need them to take a walk to the end of the earth and jump.

2) Win the Lotto (Cause then I wouldn't give a fluck about that person jumping off the face of the earth).

I've been instructed to go to my happy place today, so let me rather do that........

We have a big weekend ahead. Between company launches and a certain gorgeous girlie turning six, it's jammed packed.

I still need to find something to wear for the company launch. It's depressing.

B was easy, I sent him an sms "make sure maid irons your white collar shirt". Me, not so easy. I borrowed a fancy shirt from a friend, and to quote a phrase I read on Harassed Mom's Blog I look like a whale in a condom. Depressing with a capital D.

Hope you all have a great weekend.

Goats and stuff

Baby goats to be exact. I had a dream that B and I had two baby goats. I can't tell you what they looked like though, I just remember walking them down a garden path, luring them with their milk bottles. Very weird. I didn't want to touch the milk though because it was Goats breast milk. hahaha, and most of you will know my issues with breast milk. ;-)

McK had her check up at the dermatologist yesterday. Still "stress eczema". We are all hoping she out grows it soon. Yeah that is what doc said last year too. But oh well, he is the one that has studied for years and years and years. I'm sure he knows what he is talking about.

Just four more sleepies until my baby turns six! This is the first year since she has been born that there isn't a big grand party for her. No fancy invites, no jumping castles, no gorgeous cake. I feel bad, but it's just not possible this year. I'll still make a big deal about the class party, but we just can't do big party. Argh, I hate it. But I'll make up for it some how.

Ok, I've officially been sitting here staring at this screen for 7 minutes now. Tick tock, haven't a clue what to write. So why don't you rather go read my interview over at Female2Female, and make sure you check out the rest of the awesome website too!

Owl City Vanilla Twilight

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere
'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly
The silence isn't so bad
Till I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

I just sat and watched....

The rain was softly hitting against the window pane as I sat under a cozy blanket and watched the scene unfold in front of me. Two personals bubbles about to become one.



She walked right up to him, put her nose against his and giggled after trying to stare him out for a good three minutes. He giggled back, and the next thing I knew they were pretty much rolling on the floor laughing and spinning around in the office chair.

Such a beautiful sight, seeing this "independent bachelor for life" joking around with the most precious thing in my life. It's breath taking to see the two people I love so much find a connection and laugh at each other. Smile.

To see McK grow on B over the last few months. To see B grow on McK over the last few months. It was always important to me that he understood that. Now it all comes naturally. More heart pumping moments to come.

B has taught me to be more patient with McK. I've listened and taken notes. It's hard when someone points out something you don't see as that obvious. But I guess when you are wrapped up in your own ways of doing things, you can get lost. Some times I say things that are mean, which I necessarily don't think is nasty or I assume that it won't hurt McK, that she will know I'm just teasing. I've dropped some of my attempted "military style" mothering techniques and it has made a big difference in both our stress levels. (Our being McK and I).

Two separate bubbles becoming one for a few minutes at a time.

Nothing like seeing it in black and white

(I just took out our ID numbers for "security" reasons)

I don't know if you can read it clearly... But point 1 says:

THAT the bonds of marriage subsisting between plaintiff and defendant be and are hereby dissolved.

Where is that tequila?

:)

Queen sending me messages????

I had to giggle this morning as I drove home from B. Yes, there is an odd occasion in the week day where I end up staying over, but then I leave at the crack of dawn to get home to my darling McK.

I usually have the radio on full blast and the window open, with that icy cold breeze blowing. It's my "keep awake" trick, because I don't do anything before 6am. It kills me.

As I drive past our local Grocery store, as I turn left by the circle.... I start to grin. Last week at the exact time, exact place this song played:

(I only paid attention to this verse)

Ive fallen in love
Ive fallen in love for the first time
And this time I know it's for real
Ive fallen in love yeah
God knows God knows Ive fallen in love

Would you believe this morning, exact time as last, exact place as last:

Can Anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up, I die a little
Can't barely stand on my feet
(Take a look at yourself) I take a look in the mirror (In the mirror) and cry (And cry)
Lord what you're doing to me? (Yeah, yeah)
I have spent all my years in believing you (Ooh, believing you)
But I just can't get no relief, lord
Somebody, (Somebody), oh somebody (Somebody)
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

I'm glad I've found that "somebody"...... after all those years believing......

Have a marvelous Friday. I need to go get Miss Madam ready for school.

Daily Forecast 22 April 2010

The birds are singing, the bees are buzzing and you're in love. Definitely. Well, congratulations. Just in case you're not quite sure, somewhere in the back of your fragrant, pink, smoke-filled brain, however, arrange for a prenup. And don't let Elvis do the ceremony. He's dead, you know.

LOL, I think B would run for the hills if he had to read that...... LOL

But on a serious note. On a fragrant, pink, smoke-filled brain note: You know you are in love with someone when just the sound of their voice over the phone is enough to make your toes curl. :)

That you can go from this:



To this:



Within two seconds......

Letting it flow.....

I honestly don't know what to write today. I can't think of one topic that I could put up for discussion. So I thought maybe I would just let it flow out, even if it's random and not connected or doesn't make sense..... is that OK?

I'm worried about my best friends. Really really worried. Things aren't right, and there is nothing I can do to make it better. Hell I don't even know if there is anything they can do to make it better. It just seems like it's spiraling out of control. It makes me very sad and helpless. They have helped me so much over the last few years and especially months. I feel guilty that I can't help them in the same way.

In less than two weeks McK turns six years old! SIX!! I wish I could have memories of everything she has done up to now. I wish I could put it all in a box. We have lost so many. I still can't recall all the details from when she was a baby. That makes me sad too. I have little flash backs of certain events. But I wish I remembered everything. I suppose that would be impossible. I wish I took more photos of her when she was little. But there is nothing I can do about that now.

It's been almost six months since B and I have been together. Six whole months. That is half a year. WOW. Surreal. I love the way things are between us too. We aren't entwined with each other 24/7. He does his own thing, I do mine. It took some getting used to, but it works. When we are together....

Love started making sense
I always make mistakes at my expense
Love has placed a seed
And you're the sun that shines down upon me

Yeah when we are together
And when we are apart
There is no space in our hearts
I've got these feelings

Sorry I got side tracked for a moment there... but ja, when we are together it's all good. I feel loved, I feel special. I feel me.

My jaw still hurts. But I'm not allowed to complain about it any more. I started irritating myself by complaining about it. So I'm just going to keep my mouth shut on that subject.

It's my EX-Father In-laws birthday today. I decided to sms him "happy birthday". Don't know why. But I did. Weird, he is solely responsible for how my Ex-husband turned out. Yet I felt the need to send him a text today. Maybe it was the pain killers meddling in with my logic. Who knows. But it's done.

B is working way too hard for my liking. I'm used to being able to chat to him all morning and most of the afternoon. But no, not this week. It's work work work.... Yeah I guess some of the regular folk do actually have to work while they are at work.



Ummm, and that is pretty much it for today.

Me complaining again

Holy cr@p, I really didn't think it would be this bad. I even double checked with my mom that I'm not being a real sissy about this, but I'm sore, really really really sore.

You try swallowing noodles for breakfast because you can't chew anything else. This sucks. I just want to sit and sob. Yeah I'm pathetic. Go on say it.... hehehehe, I don't even feel like blogging, so in the mean time have a look at this pic of my sister and darling McK:

Big girl panties....

I had to put my big girl panties on again this morning.... It was my follow up at the Dentist. I took my mommy with me this time, as apposed to my 5 year old daughter. My mommy stood by me the whole time. (Don't worry she didn't need to hold my hand, but I did appreciate having her less that a meter away.)

I knew we had a few fillings to do and that all important back molar extraction.We could have done a root canal and crowned it, but my MA plan doesn't cover it, and I don't have R6000 to spend on one tooth. So we decided to pull it). I thought about leaving the extraction till last, first do all the fillings. But this morning when I walked in there, I managed to get the words out of my mouth "lets do the extraction".

OMG, next to my c-section this has got to be the weirdest feeling ever. I was at first worried about the numbing not working, but the lovely Dentist assured me that I would not feel a thing. She was right. She is awesome. I love her. All I did feel was tugging and twisting and the tearing of the ligament that joins the tooth to the jaw. Sounds like a walk in the park doesn't it.

But I did it, that sucker came out within 15 minutes. I'm very glad it's over and done with. I'm pretty sure the fillings (3 May) will be a breeze after this morning.

I'm sitting here very eina now.... hehe, the life is coming back and I'm feeling very sorry for myself. I went to go buy pizza just now for my father's client that is doing training with us today. My "wound" was still bleeding and annoying me, so I used the best thing I could think of.....A panty liner. LOL. Yip, I rolled it up and tucked it in a few minutes. Don't laugh, I actually considered using a tampon. No jokes.

Who thought......

I could possibly get so lucky?

I'm so incredibly blessed to be where I am today and to have certain people in my life. People who a mere 6 months ago weren't a part of my life, but yet today as I type this it feels like I've known them for years.

These people:



And all I had to do was love their son/brother.....

One night at my lowest drunkest point I dragged their son outside and started "unpacking" all the emotional baggage.

A week later I wouldn't stop bugging their son, and convincing him that he had to take me out.

A month later I was meeting the family...

Five months later, hopelessly in love...

Life is Grand

Wordless Wednesday

Or Wednesday Funny

Or Both

I don't have anything to blog about today. Well I do have, but I don't know how to put it into words. I'm annoyed with someone who I swore I wouldn't mention on this new beautiful blog, so it's kind of sucking all my "positive energy" away and I'm thinking maybe I should just leave you with a gorgeous pic of my McK and some funnies....

Oh and check out this link for MY BIRTHDAY PHOTOS.



Things to say when stressed at work

"Well this day was a total waste of make-up"

"Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble plastic is cheap. You choose"

"I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years."

"I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable"

"Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven't gone to
sleep yet"

“I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.”

"You look like sh!t. Is that the style now?"

"I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert."

"If a$$holes could fly, this place would be a freaking airport."

My all time favourite and directed at the person I don't want to mention on this blog:

"You are depriving some village of an idiot."

I promise to be back tomorrow with an exciting post.... I'm seeing B tonight. :)

Misinterpretation

I find it so interesting how some things can get taken out of context by either using the wrong emoticon or adding an extra exclamation mark.....

A rolling eyes emoticon for me is a sign of sarcasm. Yesterday when it proceeded a simple sentence, I was like "oops I would be offended by that statement". But then again, I know how this person's posting style works so the rolling eyes isn't a factor. But what about the person who doesn't realize that?

This morning four !!!! after a sentence would p!ss me off and I would take it as a "this person is slightly annoyed with me" and then retaliate with something appropriate back.

Words typed onto a screen can be misinterpreted because you simply can't see or feel the emotion that the words were actually meant with. I think this is the biggest reason behind "cyber b!tch fights" on most forums.

I often am in such a hurry when posting, that leaving out a simple smiley emoticon makes the whole feel of my post very b*tchy. Or the wrong emoticon got taken out of context from what I meant it to be. So I'm just as guilty of it.

Is it really "guilty of it" or should readers take at least two minutes to reread and think a little bit about what could have been said before reacting to it?

I'm just blabbering today, because I don't have anything else interesting to say LOL

And so I turned 30....

My Circus Party was a huge success! Everyone had a great time, there was lots of dancing and laughing and very loud off key singing. :)

I was very spoilt with gifts. A beautiful ring from N&F and gold earrings from family. As well as lovely pamper stuff from a good friend. My friends and family all clubbed together and got me a digital camera too! I am super impressed and just love it. So expect loads more pics from now on!

There were only two disappointments:

1) I never got the yellow basket :( It's the first time in 7 years that I haven't received it. It feels odd.

2) My dear B was man down the whole weekend. He couldn't even make my party. I was so bummed, but I understood. Took my heart a little while to recover.

I should receive the "professional" photos next week, so I will share more pics then with you all.

For now here are some pics from the awesome wedding we attended two weekends ago:





And my McK love's new hair cut:

Happy birthday to ME!

When I opened my eyes at 6am this morning, I had two gorgeous blue eyes staring back at me. I don't know how long she had been awake for....

McK: "Happy birthday mamma" with a huge smile. That child loves birthdays!

Me: "Thanks my baby, you know how old mommy is today?"

McK: "nope, I forgot"

Me: "I'm 30"

McK: "That's old, but I still love you".

Thanks my darling, mommy loves you too!

Then as per tradition my phone rang just after 6am. I look at the caller ID and smile, answer...... All I hear is "een, twee, drie....." (1.2.3) and my cute little duet start singing Happy Birthday to me. I love those two little boys. (They belong to my other best friends Nita and Frans). As per usual, tears trickle down my cheek. They are so awesome!

Happy birthday to ME!

Argh.......

I knew it had to be done. The visit was LONG OVER DUE. Like 8 years over due. But freaking hell I'll rather have my cervix swabbed once a week than pay the Dentist a visit!!

I made the appointment for McK and myself last week. I broke out into cold sweats just making the appointments, never mind actually going. The whole week I've been psyching McK up for her first dentist visit. She cried a lot about it (inside I did too), she pulled lip about it (inside I did too) and she laughed about it too (no flucking way did I laugh).

But there we were sitting in the parking lot at the Dentist. I looked at McK asked her if she was nervous. She said calmly no, my heart was racing screaming YES YES YES! I asked her if we should make a run for it. She looked at me as if I was mad, and said "mamma, don't be scared". It was the longest flight of stairs I've climbed in a while.

I even shook uncontrollably while filling in the form for first time patients at the practice. McK smiled and sat quietly. Then we got called in.

The Dentist asked "so who is first", I shoved the 5 year old in front of me and said "SHE IS!" Not a very proud mommy moment, but hey... I gave birth to her, so she has the honours of going first. I held her hand for a bit, but I think it was just to calm my own nerves.

She has 20 perfect teeth! She was so brave getting x-rayed and teeth polished. Such a trooper. She looked so small lying on that chair, her hands tightly wrapped around the arm rests. Off she bounced from the chair smiling from ear to ear! See you in 6 months kid!

Then it was the big baby's turn. Argh. I sat and made all these excuses to the Dentist about how petrified I was/am, that she can be darn lucky I'm actually sitting in this chair about to open my mouth for her blah blah. She tries her best to assure me it will all be fine. SOB!!! I crossed my legs and my hands. Held on tight to my own wrists.

I knew there was a problem with my very back molar. I broke half of it off 2 years ago. Yes, two years ago... But it's never given me any problems so I didn't bother getting it checked out. Until freaking today. They can't save it or fill it. They need to flucking pull it!!!! I need to decide when I want it done. (Ja, not in this century)......

We are going to start with the fillings first, and leave the extraction for last. Can you hear me saying FCUK FCUK FCUK over and over again!! 19 April is the next appointment. You thought I was crapping in my pants this morning, think again.....

Will pictures do???

Instead of waving the white flag, I thought I could buy you over with some photos from our week with B's parents. Remember the photo shoot I was telling you all about?????

The Chuter Siblings and their partners.



B and I



My darling McK



I'm not too fond of myself in these pics, but at least the rest of this gorgeous family are just that - GORGEOUS!!

I will still get the Wedding Pics up from last weekend, with the full story. I promise. :)

Two more sleepies till I turn 30!!! I was heading into a major Pre-Birthday Depression until I got some wise words from B's mom:

"I used to feel exactly the same way and used to HATE attention or celebrating. But I have since come to realize that every year that we get older is also a another year we have been blessed with. The older we get the more we are being blessed with LIFE. I used to HATE birthdays but now I LOVE them because I realize I am lucky to be blessed with another year whereas others are not so fortunate......SO MY GIRL......from now on embrace every birthday with as much enthusiasm as you can and ENJOY your blessing!"

So I'm trying. I went and bought balloons and a "Happy Birthday" sign to hang. hehehe, I'm sure I will start feeling it soon enough.

Apologies.... again

I have been reprimanded about not blogging.... So I'm just posting this so that my dear sister doesn't have to look at Uncle Kracker again and feel nauseous! LOL

I promise to be back, (hopefully) some time during today and give a full update!

Ciao for now

xox