MIA

There is only one excuse........



I'm still deliriously happy and in love and just not finding the time to blog.

Just some MB News....

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Panda eyes

It wasn’t my usual Wednesday afternoon routine. Wednesday afternoon’s are spent counting the minutes away until I head over to Mr. B’s place for some “adult entertainment”. No Mck’s, no being a mommy, just a girlfriend going to visit her boyfriend. Not yesterday, nope this Wednesday played out very different…..

I watched my friend go first, cool as a cucumber. She knew I was watching every twitch and facial expression. I watched my mom being led to another room to be prepped. My heart started to race. Next thing I knew I had replaced my mom lying on the bed in the other room. I could hear giggles and muffled chatting coming from down the passage.

I lay there, eyes taped shut. Burning. I lay there thinking about my gorgeous Mr. B and what he was doing. I relived my wonderful weekend in my head over and over again. I gave thought to what the hell was I doing right now. I contemplated chickening out. But what would they say. Nita had gone, mom was almost done. How exactly did I end up going last? I had to go ahead…..

A soft voice came to get me, leading me down the hall way. Blind. I held onto the soft hands that were guiding me. Mom sniggering, “you see - now you know how I felt” came from somewhere behind me. I lay down. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. I kept telling myself that I had just watched my friend have this done, she didn’t even flinch. (Later she told me that she had to hold her pose as to not scare me off.) Mom sniggers again, “good luck”……..

The soft voice tilts my head to the side, and says “keep the eyes relaxed and closed. I will pull them the way I want them”. RELAXED??? Darling you are about to put a blade that contains needles into my eye, (ok, well close enough to my eye, 1mm to be exact). The blade slices through my lids, upper and then lower. Breathe, breathe, breathe. “You still ok?”…. “yeah I’m totally fine you mother f*****g b*tch of a ***”. No really, “I’m cool” I say instead. “Just fine.”

We walked out there all puffy eyed and tired. Downed 4 double whiskey’s after our harrowing experience. Need to go back in 6 weeks for the touch up. But at least I’m going to have pretty black lined eyes for the next say 6 years or so. No more tedious minutes spent applying eye liner and having it burn the sh*t out of me. No more smudges. Just gorgeous lines, perfectly done.

Worms

McK has this irritating rude girl in her class, lets just call her G.... I'm forever hearing horrid stories about what G does. You know your typical school bully.

Just a snippet of our conversation on the drive home from school today:

Me: So McKs what did G get up to today?

McK: *insert look of disgust* She was really rude today

Me: What did she do now?

McK: She keeps putting her hand in her bum

Me: *trying not to giggle* Ummm, maybe she has worms

McK: I hope so *grinning*

Me: Me too......

LOL

Where do I even start with an update? I suppose I could just type and see where it goes.

I really do miss blogging and reading my favourite blogs too. But my days and weeks are just so jam packed I hardly find time to get in front of the PC.

Mondays – we try to recover from the weekend. Work is incredibly busy on a Monday. Exhausting. So by the time I have picked McK up from school at 5pm, I just want to eat dinner and bath.

Tuesdays – Well I don’t really have an excuse for a Tuesday. It’s really the only day that I have nothing on after work. So technically I could catch up with the blogs on a Tuesday.

Wednesdays – GRIN. I get to spend with Mr. B. So definitely no time for the PC.

Thursdays – Girly drinks with my friend Nita. Our kids even know that Thursdays are “kuier” days. McK will run to the car singing about her brothers. Nita’s boys are McK’s “brothers”. Too cute.

Fridays – Back in the arms of Mr. B again. Need I say more?

Saturday and Sunday – McK and I are at Mr. B until late Sunday afternoon. We are either entertaining friends or being lazy and watching movies.

In between being exhausted and working and visiting, I still have to make time for Making Babies and my dear friends the Geysers. It’s hard not seeing them so regularly any more. Our lives just seem so busy lately. Need to change that.

Then next thing I know Monday is back staring me in the face, another week seen its @ss. I wake up and realize its September.

Sometimes I don’t think I really have anything to update. I mean its still “same old same old”. Happy and in love. Enjoying each day. I’m leading a pretty boring life right now. If you can call it boring? I guess I will take this happy boringness over what my life used to be any day. Hahaha.

McK is doing well. She is still having some separation issues. Today marks her third session with the therapist. S phoned me this morning to let me know they start dealing and talking about “issues” today. So I might notice McK acting out or misbehaving. Says I just need to take it as it comes while she learns how to deal with her emotions. I’m really nervous.

Mr. B has started taking a more active role as “parent” too. It makes a big difference. I know it’s difficult for him to jump into the father role. But he handles it all so well. I think his and McK’s relationship can only benefit from it.

I wake up every morning thinking how very lucky I am. I get to hold my daughter. I get kisses and hugs and “mommy I love you’s”. I get to watch her grow each day. I watch her smile and giggle. I watch them play hide and seek together. I hear her laugh hysterically while Mr. B tickles her and she squeals “mommy come help me, Mr. Tickler has me”. I listen to her singing, making up words as she goes and sit amazed by her dancing and bouncing all over the place. I watch the tears fill up her gorgeous blue eyes and run down her cheek. The lip quiver. The temper tantrum accompanied by feet stomping. The sheepish grovel that comes after she has been punished. I get to see this all every day.

I get spun around the room to a corny country western song and get told how gorgeous I am. I get woken up with soft kisses, a smile with a gaze that I know only means “I love you.”

Life is bliss, life is happy, life is honest, life is love….

Who has time for blogging?

August Decisions

Hey bloggers/readers.

Grin..... Yeah I'm giving a half @ss attempt at blogging today.

August has been a whirlwind of fun and drama.

I made the decision to send McK to a child play therapist. I had the first session with the therapist last Friday. It was really hectic. I cried most of the hour while she asked about McK and her Father, and all the issues that come with it. But I'm very glad I did it. She will start seeing McK this week.

Why is McK going you may ask???? Well since her father just packed up his things and fled to the coast a few weeks back, after not even making any attempt to say good bye to her..... I had to be the bearer of bad news and explain to McK that she isn't going to see her daddy any time soon. She took the news rather badly.....

Since then she has been very clingy and emotional. I think this last year has finally hit hard on her and she is dealing with some issues that I have no idea on how to handle. I'm so p*ssed off with C, that I'm not taking her feelings into consideration when trying to explain the situation to her.

I know this is the best thing for McK. When I told her on Friday night that she is going to go see a special lady that is going to help her not be so sad anymore, the poor child burst into tears. But it was tears of relief. I can't explain it to you. I explained to her that she can talk to this lady about anything that is making her angry or sad. And that we are going to try and help her heart feel better. She is very excited.

I can't wait to have my giggly dancing girlie back again.

On the B side of life. Still wonderful. Yeah I don't know when the "honeymoon" period is supposed to end, but I'm still enjoying it. All is good. All is love. All is happiness.

Long time no star sign...

Usually these days I don't have time for star signs but this one caught my eye this morning on the way to work:

Life is good. Really good. And while you'd like to say it's been all your own doing, you know better. Now march yourself over to the person responsible for that sappy grin and think of a creative way to say thank you. You'll think of something ....

Hmmmm creative way, GRIN, oh I could think of many but I couldn't possibly type them out here since my father might just read my blog today.

*BLUSHES*

I don't believe it? Seriously. Who would have thought I would be the one to go MIA in the blogsphere. I just figured maybe you were all getting bored with stories of happiness and love and me gushing over Mr. B all the time. You know that same old same old kind of stuff.

I could tell you all about the drama that I have had to endure the last 2 weeks, but is it really reading material that I want to share. Hmmmm, maybe not. I haven't even told McK yet, so maybe it isn't fair that I share it with the internet. I'm only planning on telling her next week when things have calmed down and final. Lets just say that a certain piece of rubbish is finally out of our lives.

I think I've settled into the working schedule. Still hating the getting up early bit though. Don't think I will ever get used to it to be honest. I have (and will) always love my sleep. It's the one thing, (ok not the one thing, he finds me over all very amazing) that amazed B, the amount of time I can spend sleeping. Bliss.

Yeah I'm still sickeningly in love with B. (and I'm starting to think he is more sickeningly in love with me) LOL. I still don't know how I got so lucky.

B is taking McK shopping on Sunday. I don't quite think he knows what he is letting himself in for. But I have warned her to be on her best behaviour. Yes, this gorgeous face can get demonic at the best of times.



Oh wait, do you hear that? It's a soft whisper, a seductive whisper.... a maybe it's better lying in a warm bubble bath than sitting in front of the PC whisper... Best I heed it's call.

I promise not to leave you for so long again.

xox

When we are older....

He promises that he will let me sleep in, while he takes my teeth to the bathroom to be brushed..... sweet hey....

Love that man

xox

I some times just sit and wonder.

How did I get to this place where I am now. When did I get direction?

When did I grow a pair of balls and take on the world. (Well not the whole world, but a good part of it).

It’s been 10 months since I made my life altering decision.

I will never forget the day after, how I cried non stop. How I almost chickened out. How no one thought I was strong enough to follow through.

Where would I have been today if I did chicken out?

It’s been almost 8 months since B has stepped into my life. A shining knight on his white horse, he came to rescue me from myself. Made me stronger, made me smile, and made me feel love and trust and all those wonderful things that come from having a relationship.

A real relationship.

One with a future.

One with trust.

When did it become ok to lie for hours on end next to someone and not say a word but yet feel so in touch and feel as if you had actually been talking non stop for those hours. Content.

I have a lot of when’s and how’s and what if’s.

Yet I’m still trying to live without thinking about them, and just be content….. and in love….

I know I know

I promised, I failed.....

My most humble apologies.....

Will try again by Wednesday.

I can leave you though with the fact that I'm totally and utterly in love with a certain person and can not believe how lucky and blessed I am to have him in my life.

xox

Reduced to.....

Yes, my internet usage is pretty much reduced to Face Book status updates lately. I'm so sorry for leaving things hanging.

I'm still busy as ever. Juggling between working, mommy and girlfriend duties. It's hard and tiring, and worst of all I'm woman down with serious flu!!!

I'm going to promise a full update by the weekend......... (promise)

And while I'm composing my big update, don't you want to go VOTE FOR MCKENNA please :)

TO MY CHILD

I received this email a while back, but still wanted to share the poem with you......

TO MY CHILD

Just for this morning, I am going to
smile when I see your face and laugh
when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning, I will let you
choose what you want to wear,
and smile and say how perfect it is.

Just for this morning, I am going to step
over the laundry and pick you up and take you to
the park to play.

Just for this morning, I will leave the
dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put
that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug
the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with
you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon, I will not yell
once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and
whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one
if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon, I won't worry
about what you are going to be when you grow up, or
second guess every decision I have made where you are
concerned.

Just for this afternoon, I will let you
help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you
trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon, I will take us
to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can
have both toys

Just for this evening, I will hold you in
my arms and tell you a story about how you were
born and how much I love you.

Just for this evening, I will let you
splash in the tub and not get angry.
Just for this evening, I will let you
stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening, I will snuggle
beside you for hours, and miss my favourite TV shows.

Just for this evening when I run my
finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be
grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

I will think about the mothers and
fathers who are searching for their missing children, the
mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's
graves instead of their bedrooms. The mothers
and fathers who are in hospital rooms
watching their children suffer senselessly and screaming
inside that little body

And when I kiss you goodnight I will hold
you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then,
that I will thank God for you, and ask him for
nothing, except one more day..............

You lus for an update.....

Well here I am.....

Haha, I don't even know where to start.

McKenna.

She is still the most precious girlie you will ever come across. She is loving school. We are also easing into the home work situation. Last week we had to draw pictures of rain. Luckily I checked her diary the evening and not the usual running out the door in the morning. But I'm pretty sure we would have got the drawing done within 6km drive.

She misses her dad terribly. He has eventually made the effort to see her this coming Sunday. He is taking her to the zoo. She is pretty excited. I swear if he cancels on her, I will personally remove his balls.

She is looking forward to Play Day (my pay day). I told her it's only on Monday, (but going to surprise her tomorrow with a brand new toy). I promised her an outing to Spur. Although that might have to wait till Monday in any case.

She is also counting down the days until my brothers wedding (only in November) She is a flower girl, and can't wait to have a fancy dress. I'm super excited for her part. I bet she will be the most gorgeous flower girl EVER!!!

Work.

Wow. I seriously didn't think it would be such a huge adjustment. But I'm pretty much over the worst of it. The first two weeks were killer, I would get home, eat, bath and sleep. (If I wasn't visiting my awesome boyfriend). McK also needed to get used to being picked up at 5pm from school, as opposed to the normal 3pm. I felt bad for her, she is used to playing around in the afternoon first before, eat bath sleep.

I'm enjoying interacting with clients. (well most clients). Love my colleagues. Love my boss. Don't really have a choice since he is a very good friend of mine. Haha. Don't so much like the idea of having to ask permission for dentist/gynie appointments. Used to doing as I please, coming and going as I please. But it's part of the package, and I will have to get used to that.

Dentists.

Goodness, I have been twice again since my last blog update. Have the last appt coming up 22 June. I no more scared of dentists. Only problem I have is that they need to inject me 3 - 4 times before it takes effect. Then two hours later, pretty much half my face is dead including my tongue and I can't talk haha. Much to the amusement of my awesome boyfriend.

Awesome Boyfriend.

Yeah if you haven't noticed by now. He is still pretty much awesome. We went last weekend to his parents again in Witbank. As always had a great time. It's always good to "go home". McK loves it because she can do as she pleases..... mommy not so much approves of that. But I guess I can let it slide every now and then.

I'm so in love. So happy. So relaxed. I always knew this is what it was supposed to feel like. I knew I deserved this. It was just a matter of time and finding the right person. Someone who matched me perfectly. My lid. I don't care that I had to go through all that other cr@p to get here. It was worth it.

The next two weeks or so.

We (awesome boyfriend, awesome cousin, awesome sister and awesome friends) are going away to Waterval Boven. Looking forward to getting away from everything for the weekend. (4-6 June). Going to miss my precious McK big time, but it will be good to get away. Fun times ahead.

Hmmmm, I can't really think of anything else. Life is good. I'm happy. We are having fun. That is all that counts.

I miss Making Babies A LOT!! But my wonderful father is taking care of orders and such where he can. I promise to get back online with the support group pretty soon. I feel terrible being so lost and out of touch with everyone. But that doesn't mean I don't think of you all, (that includes my Mommy, 2ww.com and SOP girls!!!!!)

And of course my dearest Nicki. Girl I miss our daily chats. BIG TIME! Like I said to you, it feels like my left arm is missing.

Anyway, I best be going. I hope to be back blogging soon again.

Much love

xox

What, not even any comments

Goodness, I don't even get comments any more LOL... Yeah I know I'm sucking at blogging, but haha you could nag me to come blog and make me feel really guilty about going all AWOL.....

Horoscope Time......

And nothing horror about it......

"You're loved, you're respected and you're absolutely sure it's going to last forever. Couldn't get much better, right? Especially since it's all true."

Have you ever had someone tell you are beautiful and mean it, and made you feel like you really are.

Have you ever had someone make you feel so incredibly awesome that you could just skip around all day humming a tune.

Have you ever wished that time would just stand still for a few extra seconds, just so that you can take it all in.

I have....... and I'm loving it.......

Remember me?

Yeah I know I really suck.... But I've just been so busy adjusting to my new "life". It's been a challenge, lots of fun but very tiring at the same time.

Work is good. It's good to be around people again. I'm enjoying the days now even though they seem to fly by. Before I know it I'm heading off home again to go pick my McK up and then get dinner and bathed and into bed. Getting used to traffic is a bitch though. ;-)

B is awesome. I didn't think I could fall any more in love with that man. But every day I do. I miss him a lot during the day. It's been difficult to get used to it. But I'm surviving. We make up for it when we do see each other.

McK is a darling. She has just blossomed the last 2 weeks. Must be something to do with being 6 years old. She is just so loving and attentive. Her and B are hitting it off big time. Makes my heart swell.

Making Babies. I feel so out of touch with it which is sad. I'm sure once I learn how to balance work and MB and everything inbetween it will go better.

It's been a rough last few days with the passing of H's mom. The funeral was incredibly sad. I hate not being able to make my friend better. It's a heartache I can't take away.

I promise to come blog more often. I just need to figure out this juggling act first.

xox

I'm here I'm here!!

I have not run off and joined the circus, even though maybe work might feel like a circus.

Promise to be back with a full update soon

:)

It's been a hard days work....

I'm exhausted. It's been a very long and hard day. Hard as in trying to remember everything and get things done. Hard as in running up and down between clients and copy machines. Pretty much most of the work came back to me within a few hours. I was smoking hot man! (OK, maybe I'm just blowing smoke up my own @ss, but I think I did pretty well).

Of course the only sucky part of my day was walking into a tornado when I got home. After the attack I just burst into tears. I really don't know what I did wrong. But I got blasted none the less. My heart just broke. It really wasn't fair. Still trying to figure it out.

Luckily for me I have an awesome daughter who gave me a hug and told me not to cry because she loves me and she is there to take care of me. Imagine that, my little 6 year old big girl wants to take care of me. She says when she misses me during the day at school, she just needs to look into her heart and then she feels me. Awwww, cue tears again. She is awesome, isn't she?

Now before I literally fall sleep at the key board let me sign off and go to bed... Oh but....

Another hard part of my day was not chatting to B. That is going to take a lot of getting used to. He bought me rechargeable batteries and a charger today for my camera. I love that man for remembering and thinking of me while walking through Hi-Fi corp...

xox

A sad day......

Heaven welcomed a wonderful new Angel into it's gates today.



My dearest friend H lost her mom today after a very sad and hard fight with cancer.

Ouma L, you will be sadly missed.

My heart just breaks.....

It worked....

What ever you and myself did today, all the praying and thoughts and positive vibes paid off!

I got the job!

I'm not 100% certain how I feel right now. Everything from relieved to excited to incredibly nervous to STRESS!! Rolled up into one big ball, ready to roll.

You know what this means hey? Besides the whole financial freedom aspect. I get to interact with real people again, hehe, 97% of the people/clients I've worked with for the last 2 years have all been in the confines of my lap top screen. I actually need to get dressed in the mornings, apply make up - go to work.

No more rush to McK's school still in my PJs and hair unbrushed. I have to be like a normal person and get up early. Yikes, it's going to be a big adjustment.

Then there is my mommy friends and MB friends. Oh goodness me, how I'm going to miss chatting to you ladies all freaking day long. How am I ever going to survive without emoticons?

Also Making Babies. Fear not. I'm not giving MB up, not a chance. It's my passion. I couldn't even think of being without MB. I guess I'm going to run it after hours. I'm still committed to giving my all to the cause of conception. I'll still be here.

How do I even go the whole day without chatting to my sister or nicki??? This is going to be hard.......

Tomorrow is my last day being my own boss.... maybe I should take the day off?

Please Please Please.......

This is it -- the perfect time to make those changes. No matter what they are, or what department of your life you're hoping to fix, it's all good. There. Now get busy and just do it. You can't hope for any better than this.

Today's star sign, and it rings so true. I need all the positive vibes and prayers and what ever else you gorgeous blog readers can do. I'm applying for a position at an old company I used to work for..... I need to get this... I really do.

Of course I loved this part of the reading too:

It's okay to believe this. They may not be wearing a crown, but they're perfect -- for you at least, and that's what counts, right?

I do see that imaginary crown though, and the white horse..... aaaaaahhhhhhhh and yes he is pretty much perfect for me.

I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE

I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE (Barbra Streisand & Bryan Adams) Some words adapted by yours truly.... LOL

I finally found someone, that knocks me off my feet
I finally found the one, that makes me feel complete
We started over apple sours, we started out as friends
It's funny how from simple shots, the best things begin

This time it's different, dah dah dah dah
It's all because of you, dah dah dah dah
It's better than it's ever been
'Cause we can talk it through
Oohh, my favorite line was "Can I buy you a drink sometime?"
It's all you had to say to take my breath away

(Chorus)
This is it, oh, I finally found someone
Someone to share my fridge
I finally found the one, to be with twice a week,
'Cause whatever I do, it's just got to be you
My life has just begun
I finally found someone, ooh, someone
I finally found someone, oooh

But on a more serious note... I just love this song:



And that is all folks, for today. My brain is mush..... till we meet again....

Argh Fluck it.....

You know when you wake up in a seemingly good mood. Ready to face the day with what ever it's going to throw at you. In those moments of opening your eyes, you decide that today nothing will get you down. Today will be a great day.

It can all come crumbling down within a few seconds..........

Just one person's foul mood and slamming of doors and cursing can kind of fluck your day up.

Thanks a lot.

Now all I want to do is really sit in a corner and sob.

I so needed to be in a good place today.

6 Years....

I have been the luckiest person in the entire world, because for the last 6 years I have been the mother of this gorgeous child.....



My dearest McKenna

No words will ever be enough to explain how much mommy loves you. Every day I'm blessed to have you in my life. Every day I learn more patience and more love.

You have been such a brave girl the last few months. Mommy is so proud of how you have handled change. You have adapted so well. But I knew you would, because that is who you are. You are smart and mature, and you will do anything to make sure mommy is smiling.

So thank you my precious little girl for making life so easy.

I'm sorry it's raining though, but as you said in the car to school this morning: "No matter what the weather does mommy, I'm going to have a great day because I'm 6!"

Happy birthday my darling McK.

The cat is out of the bag......

Keeping secrets, especially exciting over the moon happy secrets are hard.... Our company launch, was not a company launch...

Only this lady thought it was a company launch, the rest of us had been playing along....



We went to this awesome place: Ritrovo



To give a certain special lady a gorgeous ring and a promise....



A huge congratulations to my brother and his bride to be :)



Now the fun begins....

I need to do two things....

The only problem is that the two things are most likely impossible to achieve .....

1) To get rid of someone. I need them to take a walk to the end of the earth and jump.

2) Win the Lotto (Cause then I wouldn't give a fluck about that person jumping off the face of the earth).

I've been instructed to go to my happy place today, so let me rather do that........

We have a big weekend ahead. Between company launches and a certain gorgeous girlie turning six, it's jammed packed.

I still need to find something to wear for the company launch. It's depressing.

B was easy, I sent him an sms "make sure maid irons your white collar shirt". Me, not so easy. I borrowed a fancy shirt from a friend, and to quote a phrase I read on Harassed Mom's Blog I look like a whale in a condom. Depressing with a capital D.

Hope you all have a great weekend.

Goats and stuff

Baby goats to be exact. I had a dream that B and I had two baby goats. I can't tell you what they looked like though, I just remember walking them down a garden path, luring them with their milk bottles. Very weird. I didn't want to touch the milk though because it was Goats breast milk. hahaha, and most of you will know my issues with breast milk. ;-)

McK had her check up at the dermatologist yesterday. Still "stress eczema". We are all hoping she out grows it soon. Yeah that is what doc said last year too. But oh well, he is the one that has studied for years and years and years. I'm sure he knows what he is talking about.

Just four more sleepies until my baby turns six! This is the first year since she has been born that there isn't a big grand party for her. No fancy invites, no jumping castles, no gorgeous cake. I feel bad, but it's just not possible this year. I'll still make a big deal about the class party, but we just can't do big party. Argh, I hate it. But I'll make up for it some how.

Ok, I've officially been sitting here staring at this screen for 7 minutes now. Tick tock, haven't a clue what to write. So why don't you rather go read my interview over at Female2Female, and make sure you check out the rest of the awesome website too!

Owl City Vanilla Twilight

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere
'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly
The silence isn't so bad
Till I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

I just sat and watched....

The rain was softly hitting against the window pane as I sat under a cozy blanket and watched the scene unfold in front of me. Two personals bubbles about to become one.



She walked right up to him, put her nose against his and giggled after trying to stare him out for a good three minutes. He giggled back, and the next thing I knew they were pretty much rolling on the floor laughing and spinning around in the office chair.

Such a beautiful sight, seeing this "independent bachelor for life" joking around with the most precious thing in my life. It's breath taking to see the two people I love so much find a connection and laugh at each other. Smile.

To see McK grow on B over the last few months. To see B grow on McK over the last few months. It was always important to me that he understood that. Now it all comes naturally. More heart pumping moments to come.

B has taught me to be more patient with McK. I've listened and taken notes. It's hard when someone points out something you don't see as that obvious. But I guess when you are wrapped up in your own ways of doing things, you can get lost. Some times I say things that are mean, which I necessarily don't think is nasty or I assume that it won't hurt McK, that she will know I'm just teasing. I've dropped some of my attempted "military style" mothering techniques and it has made a big difference in both our stress levels. (Our being McK and I).

Two separate bubbles becoming one for a few minutes at a time.

Nothing like seeing it in black and white

(I just took out our ID numbers for "security" reasons)

I don't know if you can read it clearly... But point 1 says:

THAT the bonds of marriage subsisting between plaintiff and defendant be and are hereby dissolved.

Where is that tequila?

:)

Queen sending me messages????

I had to giggle this morning as I drove home from B. Yes, there is an odd occasion in the week day where I end up staying over, but then I leave at the crack of dawn to get home to my darling McK.

I usually have the radio on full blast and the window open, with that icy cold breeze blowing. It's my "keep awake" trick, because I don't do anything before 6am. It kills me.

As I drive past our local Grocery store, as I turn left by the circle.... I start to grin. Last week at the exact time, exact place this song played:

(I only paid attention to this verse)

Ive fallen in love
Ive fallen in love for the first time
And this time I know it's for real
Ive fallen in love yeah
God knows God knows Ive fallen in love

Would you believe this morning, exact time as last, exact place as last:

Can Anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up, I die a little
Can't barely stand on my feet
(Take a look at yourself) I take a look in the mirror (In the mirror) and cry (And cry)
Lord what you're doing to me? (Yeah, yeah)
I have spent all my years in believing you (Ooh, believing you)
But I just can't get no relief, lord
Somebody, (Somebody), oh somebody (Somebody)
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

I'm glad I've found that "somebody"...... after all those years believing......

Have a marvelous Friday. I need to go get Miss Madam ready for school.

Daily Forecast 22 April 2010

The birds are singing, the bees are buzzing and you're in love. Definitely. Well, congratulations. Just in case you're not quite sure, somewhere in the back of your fragrant, pink, smoke-filled brain, however, arrange for a prenup. And don't let Elvis do the ceremony. He's dead, you know.

LOL, I think B would run for the hills if he had to read that...... LOL

But on a serious note. On a fragrant, pink, smoke-filled brain note: You know you are in love with someone when just the sound of their voice over the phone is enough to make your toes curl. :)

That you can go from this:



To this:



Within two seconds......

Letting it flow.....

I honestly don't know what to write today. I can't think of one topic that I could put up for discussion. So I thought maybe I would just let it flow out, even if it's random and not connected or doesn't make sense..... is that OK?

I'm worried about my best friends. Really really worried. Things aren't right, and there is nothing I can do to make it better. Hell I don't even know if there is anything they can do to make it better. It just seems like it's spiraling out of control. It makes me very sad and helpless. They have helped me so much over the last few years and especially months. I feel guilty that I can't help them in the same way.

In less than two weeks McK turns six years old! SIX!! I wish I could have memories of everything she has done up to now. I wish I could put it all in a box. We have lost so many. I still can't recall all the details from when she was a baby. That makes me sad too. I have little flash backs of certain events. But I wish I remembered everything. I suppose that would be impossible. I wish I took more photos of her when she was little. But there is nothing I can do about that now.

It's been almost six months since B and I have been together. Six whole months. That is half a year. WOW. Surreal. I love the way things are between us too. We aren't entwined with each other 24/7. He does his own thing, I do mine. It took some getting used to, but it works. When we are together....

Love started making sense
I always make mistakes at my expense
Love has placed a seed
And you're the sun that shines down upon me

Yeah when we are together
And when we are apart
There is no space in our hearts
I've got these feelings

Sorry I got side tracked for a moment there... but ja, when we are together it's all good. I feel loved, I feel special. I feel me.

My jaw still hurts. But I'm not allowed to complain about it any more. I started irritating myself by complaining about it. So I'm just going to keep my mouth shut on that subject.

It's my EX-Father In-laws birthday today. I decided to sms him "happy birthday". Don't know why. But I did. Weird, he is solely responsible for how my Ex-husband turned out. Yet I felt the need to send him a text today. Maybe it was the pain killers meddling in with my logic. Who knows. But it's done.

B is working way too hard for my liking. I'm used to being able to chat to him all morning and most of the afternoon. But no, not this week. It's work work work.... Yeah I guess some of the regular folk do actually have to work while they are at work.



Ummm, and that is pretty much it for today.